Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

I am the stepmom of girls these ages. My husband and I have been raising the girls since they were 4 and 5. Their mother is back in their life (again) and during visits to her house they wear makeup, one got hair dyed, both got eyebrows plucked, and one got padded bra that said DIVA all over it. Me and their DAD are not old fashioned, but things like that are not allowed at our house. The mother doesn't pay child support and drops in and out of the kids life any time she gets a new boyfriend or moves. Which is often. This is causing a lot of problems. Do we have the right to be upset or what?

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

YES too young! only leads to sex and drugs and tramps stamps. keep the boundries! Distract their attention with other fun unique privleges. like new Appropriate clothing or whatever as rewards for sticking to the rules. My ex does the same crap she does fortunalty i have younger aged boys but they try to expose them to all kinds of movies of behaviors and lifestyles i don't approve of. just teach them right from wrong and don't allow the stuff in your house and tell them WHY.

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

yes, that is too young to be exposing these children to those types of things. they are going to end up just like her if you don't stop it.

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

Yes it is too young. All it is is teaching them to be fast as well as an invitation for pedophiles.

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

I dont think so, even when i was eleven people were looking at other peoples buiznesses. As long as there not using really dark colors. Like I saw some girl in the store and she looked like a baby hooker. I have no problem with plucking eyebrows, and hair dye. Dude a padded bra that says diva is a little extreme, expecially under a white shirt. I screams rape! White padded braws are fine, its not like she is trying to imress anyone and gonna take her top off. Kids will be kids but they need to act there age.

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

Yes you have the right to get upset. Tell them to wait till they are in middle school or highschool. Plucking eyebrows is alright if its really needed. And light makeup forr teens (Mark eyeshadow and lipgloss) is ok too but padded bras, I wouldn't let them wear it, tell them to stick to work-out bras, until them really fill out.

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

Let that girl be a girl...letting her be a woman too fast will lead her to urge for more adult things and she can get herself into trouble...the mother is jsut trying to win her back through acting like a kid. So make it clear to her, that she is not a woman and in your house, the makeup is set to a minimum

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

that is way too young for those things. i would have a talk with the mother about it.

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

well plucked eyebrows ok, padded bras if they need it and i think that lip gloss is ok. but hair dye i dont think so. although by the time i was 13 all of this applied to every single girl my age so techniqually no they arent too young just make sure they dont overdue it.

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

yes, they are and oh yeah, you do have the right to be upset. Its really sad to encourage that kind of insecurity about one's image and self-esteem at that age (any age, in fact!)

I was "mom" to some kids whose parents couldn't care enough to support them in any way--- but were allowed to have the kids for visits. It was heart breaking to see so much of your hard work undermined by people who really don't want to give up anything for their kids.... just wanted to once in a while step in and win some 'popularity points' with the kids--- then walk away again.

The real problem is, how do you deal with it? What are her legal rights? How badly would it impact the girls to not visit her at her house for overnights? Is it possible to set down any ground rules for the visits?

Probably all you can really do is continue to speak honestly and lovingly to the girls and explain why you feel it would be much better for them to wait until they are older to make these choices. Support them in a different life-style--- one that is wholesome, emphasizing sports and church and hobbies, etc. Given positive alternatives, and helping them have great self esteem, they will probably turn away from imitating their mother's "hoochie" style.

Without making it obvious you are talking about their mom, point out how dressing and acting this way leads to the kind of life she has--- no self respect, no permanent relationship. etc.

Give them the truth, lovingly, without being a dictator, and kids will usually be smart enough to choose it.

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

yep

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

That is too young but it will be okay for the hair dye when they turn about thirteen i believe. So you do have the right to be upset you are just trying to be a good stepmom so do what you think is right.

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

That is way too young. I am the mom of 3 girls and in this day and age, you better believe my little honor students will be waiting to experience style and fashion! I know you are in a tough spot being the step mom, but if the real mom is a typical "ice skater" then, your hubby needs to step up and lay down the law. I'm sorry, I have no respect for women who don't have custody of thier kids.

And for her to want to raise the little ones that way.

NO WAY!

Go to the AG's office and turn the ***** in for child support! Give them kids a good life without the drama of thier mother!

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

Tell them they'll get cancer if they wear makeup and if they dye or highlight their hair it'll fall out by the time their 20. Yes they're too young.

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

TECHNICALLY, they're old enough. But you and your husband set the rules, so you decide what goes. If you've told them that they're not allowed to do that, then you have the right to get mad. Try talking to their mother.

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

A little bit of make up like lip gloss and mayb SOME eye make up but not a lot. No plucked eyebrows unless they are incredibly bushy and she gets teased or something. Hair dye, I don't know. It's not as big of a deal as the others, but I'd say no more than a few subtle highlights. Padded bra, maybe if she needs a lot of support, but otherwise no.

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

Yep you have a right to be upset. The bio mom gets to waltz in and out like Santa and not have to worry about the consequences. It also sounds like she's reaching out on the level she knows how to though. Plucking their eyebrows and stuff like that. It's kind of more like a friendship than a mother-daughter relationship.

I'm not you, so please don't think I'm telling you what to do. But I think if I were stuck in this situation as long as the stuff the mom is doing with the girls is temporary then I actually think I'd let it slide as long as they were only doing the stuff in the house. I think it would make sense for the dad (and you too as long as you don't think bio mom will flip) and the bio mom to have a talk about what she can and can't do with the girls. Although it would be tempting to ban all the stuff she wants to do, I wouldn't. Nails, eyebrows, makeup, styling hair. It's all temporary. I think I'd put my foot down on dyeing or cutting hair, and any underthings other than training bras maybe with matching panties. So the girls get to look forward to doing a few grownup things with mom. Maybe that can be their special bond.

I think I'd explain to the girls that their bio mom loves them, and she likes to share things with them. But that dad is in charge. I'm sure they know that since it sounds like mom's been popping in and out for ages. I'd let them know that these things were okay when bio mom is there, but that after she leaves regular rules are back in place.

As for what's appropriate for 11 and 12 year olds nowadays. Well again I have my opinion on that but it may not fit with what you believe. I think that lipgloss that either just has shine or maybe has a little tint to it is okay. No other makeup in my opinion. Clear nail polish, or pale see-through colors. Plucked eyebrows... hm. Well my ancestors come from a hairy part of the world and I did start plucking at 12. But I wouldn't let them overshape them. They'd have to still look natural. Training bras, most definitely. Girls are developing so young nowadays. I got my first training bra in 5th grade. (none of that diva crud though! tasteful stuff)

Okay I know this is long. Sorry! But I wanted to address both the bio mom issue and the fact that the girls have now been exposed to this stuff so they may want it now. Whatever you decide to do, good luck! :)

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

Makeup-Maybe just some lip gloss and mascara

Padded bras-No

Plucked eyebrows-I did when I was that age so I say yes

Hair dye-No,it ruins your hair

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

Yeah, definately.

Now, if I allowed my daughter to do that (we're speaking in about a decade and a half or so in the future), who was like 12, I would allow minimal amounts, because I do not want my children to look pathetically wierd.

Were they exposed to something of today, like, oh, I don't know, music videos with women?

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

I DUN THINK THEY R DAT YUNG 4 SUM O THE THINGZ. LOOK I MEAN ALL OF US (SOME), FIND IT FUN PUTTIN MAKEUP ON N STUFF YEA. MAKEUP IS OK LIKE LIPGLOSS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT NOT FULL ON SLAP AT 11, 13 IS OK THO... PADDED BRAS.. EWWW I MEAN WAIT 4 EM 2 GROW ITS GROSS TO SEE A LITTLE 11 YEAR OLD GO ROUND IN PADDED BRAS WEN I WAS 11 I ALREADY WORE A BRA, NOT PADDED N 4 D RITE REASONS AT THAT AGE IT LOOKS REALLY STUPID!!! PLUCKED EYEBROW IS OK I GUESS ITS JUST HELPIN UR BROW OUT SO U DONT LOOK LIKE SOME KIND O OVERGROW ORANGUTAN WITH A UNI-BROW! HAIR DYE WELL AS LONG AS ITS THOSE THAT WASH OUT EASILY I GUESS ITS OK. LOOK THESE KIDS AVE BN THRU ALOT AND THERE MOTHER GOES OFF N COMES BACK FROM TIME TO TIME, LET THEM LIVE A LITTLE I THINK THEY DESERVE IT AS LONG AS IT DOESNT GET TOO MUCH LIKE MINIS N LOTS O PADDIN N WAY TOO MUCH MAKEUP N PERMANENT BLUE HAIRDYE, U NO WOT I MEAN... .WELL I HOPE THAT HELPED!!

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

yea they are to young, girls i know dont start all that stuff until lthey are 13 and 14

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

makeup- very light (light eyeshadow, concealer [spot treatment], little mascera, lip gloss, that is the MOST they should wear)(heck i'm around 13 and all i wear is concealer [on my pimples] and lip gloss, occaisionally curl my lashes)

padded bra- dependes on how thick, if its like 1/4 inch then that is WAYYY to much, when i was 12 i had a very light padded(as in BARELY more than a soft cup..) bra 4 every day, and i had a padded (like 1/5 inch) for VERY special occasions (i hated it any way)

plucked eyebrows- sure, but not pencil thin (if they havent heard full, but groomed are in)

hair dye- NO!!! i would settle 4a tint, or highlights, but NOT dyed hair, it can ruien it

geeze, if the mother is setting a bad eample EXPLAIN to her that u dont want them to wear it!!!!

also explain to the kids

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

a padded bra for a 12 year old? unless she needs it because her breast so big that they are falling out her shirt no she can not have it, no makeup either shes too young and she does not need her eyebrows plucked. if you guys dont want them having those things why do you buy it for them. tell them no. soon they are gonna be on drugs and having sex. not to be rude or any thing, but you cant let them do this

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

You most certainly have the right to be upset!

And your kids probably talk about how theyre mom

buys them this that she is so cool,, but twhat they dont is how

"cool" you and their dad is, see the difference is that you two care about them. I would sit down with the mother and tell her, if you and your husband have full custody, that you cannot alollow the girls to go over there is they are allowed to do something that you don't believe in.. As long as your daughters dont look "slutty" i guess its okay for makeup, but plucked eyebrows? They should be encouraged thart their eyebrows are beautifull natrually, i think you and your husband are doing the best job you can, considering you dont want to make your daughters mad. And if your husband also disagrees with the makeup/paddedbras/plucking/dying/ then mabey he can explain that to the girls.

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

Way too young she is making them look cheap and at 11 and 12 that really isn't a good idea in this day and age.You should talk to their Mom about the rules of your house, you and your husband are raising those kids and paying for them therefore you have the right to make the rules. She sounds like a terrible example for a mother.

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

yes, it is way too young. i'm just now 5 months pregnant with a little girl and i know that when she turns 11, these things will be the last things on her mind (except if she has her dad's eyebrows, then we'll think about getting them plucked--haha). but i think it is ridiculous that the mother would want her 11 or 12 year old to have a padded bra, is she trying to tell them that it is okay to be looked at sexually at this age? i think you have every right to be upset and i think you should tell their mother that you do not approve of the things she buys the girls. if she gets mad, so what, at least you are there to take care of them. keep doing what you're doing...you sound like a wonderful mom.

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

WELL IDK WIT THE BRAS BUT THE MAKEUP A LITTLE BIT OF LIPGLOSS WILL MAKE HER HAPPY BUT SHE IS A LITTLE TO YOUNG TO DYE HER HAIR

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

Heck Yes, you need to sit down with the mother and talk to her. If it is not allowed in your house then it shouldn't be allowed at hers. She is trying to by their love. They are way too young. Put your foot down and say no!

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

light makeup i would say is okay but nothing that makes them look slutty. padded bras no unless they need a lot of support and it is hard to find good non padded ones wich is doubtfull... if their eyebrows need to be plucked id say its okay. hair dye is really up to their dad. if their mom is causing that many problems take her back to court. it may be ugly but it may be necessary. good luck!

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

They are WAY to young for the eyebrows, hair dye, and padded bra. But let the 12-year-old wear NEUTRAL colored make-up, but do not let her look like sl.ut. I was twelve when I began to wear make-up, but I wasn't allowed to wear dark eyeliner or anything until I turned thirteen. Let the twelve-year-old buy a bra of her own choosing, but don't let her get one that says "DIVA" all over it or anything. Just ask her why she bought the bra that said "DIVA" all over it if nobody else is going to see it. Just explain to them both why they shouldn't be doing these things until they are older.

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

eleven year olds generally do NOT need padded bras, or any bras for that matter. maybe crop tops..

MAKE UP? it's only for really special ocassions, and tell them it'll be more special like that, and they'll get really excited when such an occassion does pop up. tell them bout inner beauty and how pretty they are without it.

please ask them to stop it, but explain to them why that stuff isn't necessary at such a tender age.. they're just children and simply enjoy life.

keep it up,, your doing really well =D

Are 11 and 12 year olds too young for makeup, padded bras, plucked eyebrows, and hair dye?

Not too young. But it's a waste of time and money.