Earlier today I had put my 6 year old in the bath and left her to play after washing her hair so that I could go and see to my other kids and when I went back to tell her it was time to get out she was urrrmmm well pleasuring herself (i am trying to be tactfull here). I asked ehr what she was doing and she said its nice then I told her to stop it and get out the bath and I dried her hair and down her back then gave her the towl and told her to go finish getting dried and get dressed and when I went in her room to check to make sure she was getting dressed she was well doing what she had been doing in the bath again. I have been trying to think of a way all day that I can apporach her to discuss this but I cant figure out how to go to go to her with it as I am pretty embarassed by it so can someone suggest a way that worked for you that I might be able to try.
This is the first time I have been in this situation with my kids
A rather embarassing situation with my 6 year old PLEASE HELP?
OK, first of all, you need to realize that even if this is "normal" behavior, it is problematic behavior. Any behavior that causes tension between young children and their parents is a big problem. If she were twelve to sixteen, I would approach this differently, but she's six, and for her well being you need to keep things open, but not by allowing this to continue.
At this stage, you need to worry about your relationship with your daughter, not about 'stunting her sexual growth' (she's 6, not 20), because a child who has relationship problems at a young age is at a severe risk for developing Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), a very serious disorder that can lead to very serious consequences, inluding the more sever Attachment Disorder (AD), which is the most common link between serial killers. (For those who doubt this, or wish to call me a 'panicker,' send me an e-mail and I will give you my sources, all of which come from qualified professionals)
So those are the risks of putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation that obviously bugs--even if your child never develops RAD, you will still have a gap because you feel the need to clam up and let things develop.
Obviously this is not a desirable outcome, so you should explain to her that 'touching herself' is not an appropriate behavior and she should not do it. Remember that you are the parent, and your child needs to obey you. You need not tolerate repeated disobedience from her.
On the other hand, you could allow her to keep on 'touching herself' for fear of stunting her sexual growth, creating an enormous rift when she is older and more wise about sex. You should know that hormones don't ever, ever help with how we handle sex when we're older. Hormones don't have anything to do with sexual exploration after you're six years old--don't you know that?!? And you should know that it is absolutely not true that children find out about sex from friends and schoolmates--it has never happened and never will (it never happened when you were little, did it?), so you as the parent are absolutely required to explain the intimate details of sex and sexual relationships... obviously. If you do not do this, it is certain that your 6-year-old, who knows nothing about sex, will hate you forever and ever and ever and ever... and ever...
If there's anybody who didn't catch the sarcasm, I was being sarcastic!
But, seriously, she's 6, if you tell your child not to 'pleasure herself,' there aren't going to be some long term, horrible consequences. My parents did it, and I enjoy my sex life today. They also did it to all of my siblings, and a whopping eight of them are old enough to be sure that their sex life is not adversly effected. I have many friends who were raised in homes where sex was not acceptable, and very few of them have any problems today, and none of them have STDs.
So, right now, it's more important that this doesn't become a splinter between you and your daughter. And she will have a much easier time stopping her actions than you will your emotions.
A rather embarassing situation with my 6 year old PLEASE HELP?
That is normal behaviour, do not worry.
A rather embarassing situation with my 6 year old PLEASE HELP?
Let her know that it's perfectly normal to touch her self, and that it's acceptable to do only when she has privacy.
Shaming her about her genitals will scar her for life...so make sure she's ready to have this talk and if she's not...don't worry about it yet.
If she is, get a book that explains (on her level) what that part is and what it does.
No big deal Momma!
A rather embarassing situation with my 6 year old PLEASE HELP?
Sexual explorations is absolutely natural with children (and adults!)........but just so you know sexually abused kids know more and explore more then non-exposed kids......not to make you terrified..just informed.
A rather embarassing situation with my 6 year old PLEASE HELP?
First off, relax. Masturbation is completely normal. Kids much younger than your daughter even learn that doing things to their bodies feels good. That's part of developing. Don't keep freaking out at your daughter, you'll give her issues. Sexuality is a part of all of our lives. You can either teach her how it can be a healthy part, or you can teach her the unhealthy way. It's not something either of you need to be embarrassed about. Let her know that what she is doing is okay, as long as she does it in private.
A rather embarassing situation with my 6 year old PLEASE HELP?
i had the same prob with my 9 yr old but she was 4 at the time, i just talked to her about inappropriate touching and what others with think if they see her, and its not nice and i explained it in a way so i could continue the conversaition in a few years, and i also threw in the "noone else should ever touch there" while i was on the topic
A rather embarassing situation with my 6 year old PLEASE HELP?
Wow, I dont know, that is a tough one.........
But it is rather normal for kids to be curios about their own bodies, you should just try to explain that she should no be doing that, tell her its like saying a bad word, she just should not do it
you also may wanna find out where she learned that from, with her only being six, It probably came from someone, maybe someone at school, (kids grow too fast) and possibaly and i hope not from an adult, ask her how she learned to do that...........
Good luck
A rather embarassing situation with my 6 year old PLEASE HELP?
Wow...6 years old and already embarrasing dad! ;) I'm not looking forward to that at all...
I think this is pretty normal. Although, my first question to her would be if anyone had ever touched her there before...or if she found it out on her own. A though question, but one that needs to be asked.
I'm not sure how you would explain to her that it is inappropriate at her age, without making her feel ashamed of herself.
A rather embarassing situation with my 6 year old PLEASE HELP?
It's totally normal and age appropriate for her to be doing this. You should tell her that it's normal to do this but she needs to make sure she's alone (which it sounds like she has been doing). As long as you're to the point and calm about it, not making it into a big deal, she won't either. What you don't want to do is try to get her to stop doing it, or make her feel bad about it in any way. This could possibly give her bad feelings about her own sexuality. Just make sure she doesn't flaunt what she's doing and it'll resolve itself!
A rather embarassing situation with my 6 year old PLEASE HELP?
Hi, Jason.
It's best if you knock on the bathroom door, from this point on. Ask your daughter if she is out of the tub, drying herself off. Give her the privacy she deserves, and obviously needs.
If you over-react and make a big deal out of this, she will learn to feel shame for it. It is a natural part of life, although there is no set age for this to take place.
My son was doing this in the bath and I simply left the room and started the "knocking" principle. It taught him the bathroom is a place for privacy. It taught me to respect that privacy. After all, we are not changing their diapers anymore.
There is no instruction manual on how to react or handle things like this. In my experience, don't give this any more attention than you need to. If she starts doing this in public, you have reason to get concerned.
good luck ~
A rather embarassing situation with my 6 year old PLEASE HELP?
Swee Tie s advice is very good- spot on. I would go with that one.
A rather embarassing situation with my 6 year old PLEASE HELP?
Since she is so young, I think you should tell her that it's okay to "pleasure herself" but it's something she should do by herself. Just make sure she understands it's okay but must be done in private =]
A rather embarassing situation with my 6 year old PLEASE HELP?
Normal. You can't deny it feels good. They don't equate it to sex or anything like that, they just know it feels good.
At her age, though, the best thing you can do is to let her know that there is a time and a place for everything, and she should wait to explore herself until she's in her bedroom and has some time to herself.
If you overreact, like everything else, it will pique her curiosity and make her more likely to continue doing it, as well as give her a complex about it being "dirty" or "bad".
A rather embarassing situation with my 6 year old PLEASE HELP?
Kids are naturally curious about their bodies. even thought she's not old enough to get sexual pleasure from what she's doing, it does feel good to her.
I don't know if she's the youngest, maybe she caught one of the older girls doing that or heard them talking about it.
You can talk to the little one about it without getting into details. Ask her why she does it, where did she learn it from, and shoudl only be done at home in private. Got to make sure she understands not to do it at school or other people's homes(like visiting a friend for play dates).
A rather embarassing situation with my 6 year old PLEASE HELP?
Just explain to her that it is an okay and natural thing to touch herself. But that it is something that is private and not to do it in front of others.
A rather embarassing situation with my 6 year old PLEASE HELP?
Tell her it is OK to do that as long as your in your bedroom and by yourself. It a normal thing, but should be done in private.
A rather embarassing situation with my 6 year old PLEASE HELP?
Take this fact in:It's completely normal
But, sit her down and tell her that it is completely normal to do that, but ONLY in her room or bathroom, only when no one is around.
NEVER, I repeat NEVER make her feel any level of negitive response for this. Because, if you do, consider your daugher ruined. Ruined from everything. She probly won't want to be around any other person because private parts are bad. Givving her that idea, she might even take it to a very bad level. I help my theripist out a lot, and there was a small kid about 8 who was caough masturbating and he was cough the next day with a pair of sciccors you know wear, thankfully he started crying before he actually hurt himself badly. I think I just about cried when I heard that. Your daugher is doing something as normal as breathing, so please don't be alarmed.
A rather embarassing situation with my 6 year old PLEASE HELP?
firstly - dont worry yes its embarassing but only for you as she has no idea that she is doing anything that might cause offence - bear in mind that young boys seem to spend their first 7 years with one hand up their nose and the other down their shorts
next just say that some things need to be done in certain places - you pee in the loo, cook in the kitchen and you pray in church and some part of her body are just for her to know
In all probabilty she just discovered that if she did it then it felt nice - the chances of anyone suggesting or showing her is small and we must as parents balance this hysteria regards child abuse. It does happen and is un defenceable when it does but kids have been touching themselves and showing what they have got to other kids since time began.
Lastly take a deep breath - this is my most important childcare tip. No one died , no one was hurt and yes it makes you feel uncomfortable but so long as the communcation channels are always open your kids will always look to you for advice.If you dont know where to start commence the conversation and tell your child that you are unsure what to say but youd like them to know that they did is ok but shouldnt be carried out in public because it could make other feel uneasy
Just bear in mind there is always the possibilty that you will walk in on her having sex in 10 years time
yes it has happened to me both situations and all my kids are just normal people - what happened to you is an unfortuante reminder that one day your little girl is going to grow up and you are the one that has to deal with that fact she will be far to busy living her new and exciting life to think of poor old dads feelings - good luck and it is really lovely to see a dad so involved in his daughters life and growth
A rather embarassing situation with my 6 year old PLEASE HELP?
dont you do it? doesnt it feel nice? she just needs to learn as she grows that it isnt something you do in public. leave her alonepoor little love or leave the room, shes hardly going to whip out a dildo shes just discovering her body. or of course you could punish and highlight and she ll have a life long fear of sex and pleasure?
A rather embarassing situation with my 6 year old PLEASE HELP?
Well kids do the darndest things. lol. Tell her that she shouldn't be touching her self down there because it's yucky. She might not understand and continue this. Shes young and thats all you could really tell her. =)
Ok people so you can't just tell the kid to keep touching herself. If she is in public or at someones house, and she does it, the parents can get into serious trouble if someone reports her behavior. It's true and happens to plenty of parents. If you tell the child it's yucky (a word they understand) they will be less likely to do it and far less likely to do it in public. Would you touch yourself in pubic? Wouldn't you feel embarressed? You don't want the child to get that talk from someone else who might make her and even the parents feel bad about themselves!
A rather embarassing situation with my 6 year old PLEASE HELP?
i would explain to her that it isn't the right thing to do when you are a 6 year old, then try and take her mind of it. It may possibly be a fad and after awhile she will grow out of it.
little lads also dot he same thing but with my son I just told him that it would fall off and after a bit he stopped.
If you are still unsure what to say and how to approach her then try contacting parent line and they may be able to advise you. What may seem embarrassing to you they may have heard a dozen or so times.
Good luck with everything and I hope things work out OK.
A rather embarassing situation with my 6 year old PLEASE HELP?
there is a lot of scare mongering in the answers for this question, just because your daughter has discovered her genitals doesnt mean that someone has touched her so please dont pay too much attention to this, all kids discover there is a tickle down there, my one year old has found it, its natural.
as for talking about sex with a six year old, dont, there is no need for a child to find out too much about it, there is a time but that time is not when you kid is still sooo young.
the best way to deal with it is to explain that it is not polite to touh yourself like that or that its dirty to touch there. it wont scar her mentally it will just put her off it.
tell you what though, im not looking foward to this stuff myself, good luck
A rather embarassing situation with my 6 year old PLEASE HELP?
well let her mom or grandma talk to her about it, it may be more comfortable for the child and you
A rather embarassing situation with my 6 year old PLEASE HELP?
I think this is kind of sweet that she has found her tickle between her legs. My mom helped me find mine when I was 10 because I walked in on her accidentally doing it, I asked her what she was doing and she just went jump on the bed and I will teach you so I did and she did and now I really enjoy my tickle
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